“When Something Happens to One of Us, It Happens to All of Us”
“But grief is not a force and has no power to hold. You only bear it. Love is what carries you, for it is always there, even in the dark, but shining out at times like gold stitches in a piece of embroidery.”
Nine months ago we welcomed our third child into the world. All of our anticipation, our hopes, our fears, Regan’s discomfort for nine months, was met by a beautiful, perfectly healthy baby boy.
Every time a child of mine has come into the world I am struck by the profound majesty of the moment. My mother always says, “Isn’t it just amazing that they were just with God?” As you watch them breath, examine their tiny toes and fingers, I am, quite frankly, in awe of God.
Many close to me know that the time leading up to the birth is always an anxiety provoking for me. Beyond the ever present awareness that Regan must go through something tremendously difficult, with little I can do, is the reality of all that can go wrong. As a pediatrician, I have a skewed view of birth, as I am usually only attending births when something is going terribly wrong. Regan and I always laugh as I am always wanting to leave the hospital as soon as possible, while Regan is perfectly happy with room service meals and no dishes to do.
Despite all my fears, this labor could not have gone smoother, at least speaking for myself. Regan presented to the hospital with contractions, had her water broken, an epidural placed, and after two hours and three pushes Judah Luke entered the world.
Upon reflecting on our 25 hour hospital stay (they let us go early, praise God!), it was so clear the disparity between what we experienced and what families go through in Kapsowar. Many times woman in labor have to travel hours, sometimes on motorcycles in mountainous terrain with poor road conditions, just to reach the hospital. Women in Kapsowar can’t access an epidural, and they have to bring their own swaddles and diapers for their newborn babies. They often don’t have sanitary pads for the afterbirth.
Contrast that with our hospital experience, an epidural within one hour, one-to-one nursing care, room service meals, private room and bathroom, all the proper medical supplies, linens, diapers, and to top it off a parting gift bag with clothes, spa kit, and a gift card to a local restaurant.
It is sometimes hard to reconcile these two worlds. The contrast is so poignant. As I held Judah recently I was unexpectedly reminded of all the patients that we have lost in our newborn unit this past year. In that moment I found myself asking, “Why does my baby receive life while others do not?” The injustice of it is palpable and ever present. Its clear that their is a tremendous unequal distribution of resources in our world - and the consequences are devastating.
Shortly after we moved to Kapsowar we befriended a local handyman named Timothy who was helping us with a few projects around our unfinished house. After only two months in Kapsowar, our daughter Sage was scratched and possibly bitten by a feral cat while their had been reports of a rabid animals in the area. After rushing her to Nairobi for the proper treatment we returned to Kapsowar a little discouraged.
Upon our arrival back I was stopped by Timothy, who kindly asked me how Sage was doing. He said a line I will never forget:
“When something happens to one of us, it happens to all of us.”
It took my breath away.
This line is truly what I think God intends for us, to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) Jesus asks us to “take care of the least of these” (Matthew 25:4) and lay down our lives for others (1 John 3:16).
Am I willing to make the lives of others my own? What lengths I am willing to go to ensure that others have the joy of bringing home a healthy and thriving daughter or son? How willing am I to be to the the body of Christ?
Yes, the answer to this does entail sacrificing for each other, but it also contains so much joy and hope! I find that those who are in the service of others are some of the most happy and joy filled people I know. I see it in other medical providers at Kapsowar when they help others get well just as I see it in my children when they are sharing a toy to make someone else happy. Serving God is never drudgery, but opens the gates into tremendous joy and hope. For as Jesus says, “whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Mathew 10:39)
Injustice seems ever present in this broken world as many people seek their own wellbeing and comfort over the needs of others. Yet Jesus’ call to be His hands and feet and push back against the brokenness stand in direct contrast to this. Timothy’s words embody this and encapsulate God’s proclamation to live in a very countercultural way: one marked by selflessness, compassion, joy, and hope that God is at work in every act of love whether big or small.